I went to camp and returned on Monday.. now that I returned back to real life, everything feels a little senseless. I have no idea why I am teaching English, I know it helps people, but maybe not the way I should be helping people.
I feel like I should be more involved with the church, but not with my church, I want to be more a part of evangilization, not greeting people at the door, I want to be more a part of serving others, but not serving coke and picking up paper from the ground from other church members, I want to help in other ways, I want to spread the gospel, and I feel like where I am now, I am not able to, it is like.we are barred from helping. I want to do more. I dont want to just greet people, and really, I dont want to aparecer I just want to serve in a different way. I dont want to be seen, I just want to serve, is that bad? Is that wrong? Have I gone completely cookoo?
I feel like moving to the US will bring something our way, that it is the life change we need. I feel this, and am certain, no one can convince me otherwise.
At camp I met a lot of different people, and God really spoke to me, I tried to talk with my friends but they didnt seem to understand. Anyhow, I feel like I let myself be the real Becca again, the one who liked having fun, the one who liked to help and talk about God, and that is who I want to be, because that is who I am.