Reflections on the First Year of Marriage

 

20121207_163925On December 7th, 2013 my husband and I completed on year of marriage ( at the cartório). It was an amazing year, I would say that it was the best year of my life.. but if I do that I will have to say that every year because it seems like every year is better than the last one!

I believe that this year was the year of change, this was the year where I stopped being a “jovem” and became an adult. Many friends stopped calling us to go places and to do things when we got married, at first I really felt it and was depressed for a while, but then I started to work a lot and get involved in my house that I ended up not having any spare time- which is actually great! It helped me a lot during this first year. Everyone who knows me knows that I love my job and I love to work. Nowadays I feel like things are different than last year, there are some things that I don’t spend money on anymore..  I don’t go so often to bars or to eat out.. We do that about once a week just to get out of home, I don’t spend so much money when I’m out and about on the street, but this is where we changed a bit because when people call us to go places, it always involves spending money.. and sometimes I just don’t want to spend it without reason, you know what I mean?

100_4203I was talking to my mom yesterday and she started encouraging me saying that for my age and the first year of marriage, I have gotten A LOT done. I have been looking back on pictures of this last year and have seen the differences in our lives from a year ago.. we planned a wedding and had an amazing party, we had an incredible honeymoon, we lived with a friend for 3 months before our house finally got done and we were able to move in, then we started remodeling things at home.. and here we are ( continuing with the remodeling, I haven’t quit don’t get me wrong).

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When we got married we didn’t have much furniture.. and here in Brazil it’s not like in the US where you can buy some off of craiglist, or from a thirft shop, or loan them from friends… they don’t have that here. Buying things used here is complicated because usually it’s in a such a dipalated condition that it’s not even worth trying to fix ( structural problems, for example). So when we moved we had, a table ( which we had bought BEFORE even getting engaged), a two place sofa ( which came from my kitchenette), a stove ( a wedding present from his sister), a refrigerator ( a wedding present from a friend), a tv rack ( wedding present from my sister), a tv ( wedding present from someone I don’t even know), and a bed ( which was mine from when I was a teenager.

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Slowly but surely we started buying furniture and begin to fill up this house, I look here and there and thank God for everything that he has given us.  We were able to get furniture for his house, get rid of old closets that just didn’t work with what we had, get rid of an ol dhutch that was falling to pieces ( the foot was broken), get some furniture to store things that works better than what we had , buy some small things that help build a home ( lamps, trinkets, organizers, etc).

Yesterday, we did the unthinkable and FINALLY bought a decent sofa, an adult sized sofa, hahaha and a new bed. This may seem like nothing to you, buy hey..  a new bed and sofa to get home at the end of the day and be able to relax? This means he world to us! It was pretty stressfull to not be able to feel comfortable watchinga movie or lying in bed at the end of the day.. we were waking up with aches and pains due to the old mattress, so yesterday we went crazy and decided to buy both big ticket items to start the year off! Thankfully my husband is a great negotiatior so we were able to get a discount and a better payment plan on the mattress. Later I will post pictures, but we got a mattress and a box spring like thing that opens up so you can store things underneatj- a must for small apartments! I am already thinking about everything that I am going to shove in there:) We ended up taking the mattress home already and shoving it into the back of our pickup.. we had a friend coming over to get a present someone asked us to give them, and we remembed that their kid loved double beds and had one that wad falling to pieces, so we offered it to him and he happily accepted, so that night we took the bed and mattress over to his house. Right now we are sleeping with the mattress on the floor because the box spring will only arrive on Friday. I can’t wait! For the meantime, Bonhoeffer isn’t sleeping in our room because he thinks we bought the mattress for him since he can climb up on the bed easily, poor thing, last night he slept in his bed in the hallway whining to come in:/ Our couch will be ready next Tuesday ( today is Wednesday), but I will only be free for them to deliver on Friday, so by next Friday we will have a couch too:)

So I guess this is what started my reflections, because sometimes I feel like I have done nothing in the past year, that my house isn’t becoming a home, but then at other times I sit back and think about everything that God has given us and just smile:)

20130113_102902Now, about our first married year.. it was wonderful. We should have gotten married sooner. Everyone says that the first year is the hardest.. I disagree. I don’t think this year was hard at all.. it was spectacular! Did we argue? Yes, who doesn’t. Did we have fun and enjoy ourselves? Yes, much much more than we could ever have imagiend! How come when you get married no one talks about the good part of marriage? The only thing that people told us about was bills, bills, bills , and disagreements. Well, guess what you negative advisor givers.. The first year is AMAZING. There will always be difficulties in marriage, but what friendship doesn’t have its ups and downs? The important thing is companionship and being with the person who you love at the end of the day.

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As many of you already know, a month ago we adopted Bonhoeffer our baby pug.. Many said that we were doing the wrong thing, we shouldn’t have spent money on him, it would be a pain.. Guess what, is cleaning up his pee a pain? Yes, but he’s learning. He’s only been here a month and he’s working at learning… but it isn’t instant learning.. it takes a while, just like a baby ( and a baby takes 2 to 3 years, haha) But Bonhoeffer has brought so much more love and fun into our marriage, we wouldn’t trade him for the world. My husband who didn’t like dogs is now inseperable with Bonhoeffer, he loves him to death and wouldn’t let anyone take him away.

To onlookers my husband and I may not have done anything spectacular this year like win the lottery or climb Mt. Everest, but being beside the person I love is more important to me than anything else in the world, and it’s amazing, even more than amazing!

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